Thursday, October 20, 2005

Curmudgeon in the Wry 308

Thursday, October 20, 2005---538 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 42 seconds (time well spent)
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Rave: Michael Tomlinson
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Rant: You could stop illegal immigration with one law. Make it a federal offense to provide housing to anyone without a Social Security number or green card.
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Rave: Rod Stewart IV. What a thirteen song treat. The duet with Chaka Kahn on “You Send Me” is out of this world.
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Rant: The slogan for the 2005 World Series should be “bunter up.”
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Rant: Has anybody ever had a loaner car that smelled good?
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Hmmm: Four out of three people have trouble with fractions.
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Bumper sticker winner: “Gun’s don’t kill people, drivers using cell phones do.”
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"I'm learning more and more about less and less. Pretty soon, I'll know everything about nothing." So says Spenser about midway through “School Days” by Roberts B. Parker.
This is a thoroughly enjoyable entry in the prolific Mr. Parker’s long running series featuring the wisecracking, sardonic and resourceful Boston PI.
The tedious, whiney, monotonous Susan is away at a shrink confab at Duke, so we are spared her overbearing, insufferable scenes.
Hawk is also missing, so Spenser is flying solo when he is hired by the wealthy grandmother of one of two accused private school student shooters.
The crime left seven dead and others wounded.
Spenser feels something is amiss when it seems everyone from the boy’s parents, the local cops, the school officials to the kid’s lawyer all want to rubber stamp the allegations and see the boy (Jared Clark) behind bars. It appears someone wants something hidden. The more they stonewall him the more he snoops around.
He upsets a myriad of people as he endeavors to learn how two seventeen year kids could acquire four new semiautomatic pistols and learn to shoot so efficiently.
The journey to find the cause and those responsible for igniting the teens to such violence is imaginative and always interesting.
Spenser’s laconic banter is always dry and filled with irony…and the New England atmosphere comes electrically to life.
This one is lotsa fun.
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Bumper sticker I want to see: “Welcome to America…now speak English.”
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Contrarian view: I see nothing wrong with iceberg lettuce
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Hmmm: Raise your hand if you when Arbor day is. And how come we don’t get the day off?
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Rant: Being forced to listen to so many rude cell phone user’s phone call it appears that they say “goodbye” about a dozen times before actually ending the damn call.
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Didjaknow: A submarine is called a “boat”---unless it is a nuclear submarine, in which case it is called a “ship.”
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Helpful hint: If you are looking for a new car, but have no idea what you want, just go to any shopping center and drive around the parking lot to see all the makes and models.
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Huh?: Not a single SI swimsuit edition in the Top 40. Were the judges blind?
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Admit it: You get aggravated when you cannot pay at the pump.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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