Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Curmudgeon in the Wry 297

Wednesday, June 15, 2005---531 Words---Average reading time: 1-minute, 48 seconds
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Rave: Tony Benken
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Rant: Will the NBA playoffs end before the new season starts?
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Quote: “If you hurt, you do not play. If you play, you are not hurt.”---Harry Hopman, former Australian Davis Cup Captain.
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Hmmmm: Where do birds live while they are building their new nest?
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Didjaknow: Asparagus is part of the lily family.
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Quote: “It is not the cynics who ignite revolutions, it is the disillusioned idealists.”---Anon.
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Rave: “I Play Chicken With The Train.”
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Rant: While in Washington to play the Nationals, the Milwaukee Brewers were offered a tour of the Capitol. A single player, Lyle Overbay, accepted the invitation.
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TV timeout: ESPN once again broadcasted the National Spelling Bee. It has to be must viewing for parents who think their kids are odd
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Rant: It is amazing that at his age, former President Jimmy Carter can still fit both feet in his mouth.
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Rimshot: Didja hear about the android that got mad? You know, C3-PO’d.
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Rant: Arena Bowl XIX just completed. Wow! I know what you are thinking…how could the first XVIII have gone by this fast.
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Quote: “Revenge is the best revenge.”---Anon.
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Rave: It was Walt Disney who first changed the world with a mouse.
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In passing: Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson.
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Hmmmm: I do not know any Fullbright Scholarship winners, but I sure know a whole bunch of Halfbright winners.
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Just asking: Will someone explain to me why a disabled veteran wounded in the war has to pay for prescription drugs, while an illegal immigrant can have a baby free and be given food stamps?
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Discuss this: Is Randy Moss’ NFL jersey the top seller in spite of his bad guy image or because of it?
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Rave: During the recent Ottawa Marathon, one participant skipped rope the entire distance in four hours, 49 minutes.
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Go figure: Nomar Garciaparra leads the NL shortstops in All Star votes…yet has not played since April. Baseball fans are either delusional or oblivious. Next we will discover that Cal Ripken Jr. is getting votes.
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Hmmm: If a man makes a statement and no woman is present, is he still wrong?
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Rave: Why not have a lane for rubberneckers?
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Rant: My definition of eternity is the NBA playoff schedule.
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Rant: When will Jesse Jackson arrive in Aruba?
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Rave: Shaquille O’Neal paid for George Mikan’s funeral…classy move!
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Quote: “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”---Oscar Wilde
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Hmmmm: So what do you suppose appeared over Edison’s head when he thought up the light bulb?
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Just did it: Nike recently dropped Jason Giambi…the men from swoosh a bit tardy at getting religion in the church, right?
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Factoid: At close to $100 million, George Steinbrenner’s pitching staff alone has a payroll higher than 27 other teams.
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Wondering: Have Steffi and Andre finished that tennis match yet?
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If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.
That is all.
As you were.

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