Thursday, October 31, 2019

Dimocrat Economic Policy in 25 Words or Less



I wish I was paying more attention when I heard/read this pithy summation of liberal/progressive economic thinking…I sure would like to give proper attribution to the genius who cleverly came up with it.


“When democrats see a light at the end of the tunnel, they decide to build more tunnel."





Monday, October 28, 2019

Curmudgeon In The Wry. Incident 609

Monday, October 28, 2019---911 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 55 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Are we having fun yet?
Submitted for your approval.
No French Fry Left Behind.
Free shipping and handling.
Back by the demand of virtually no one.
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001. 
You Are Here
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Viewer Indiscretion Is Advised.
Love your hair...hope you win!     
Tom Baldrica: Minnesota Correspondent. 
Carl Moesche: West Coast Correspondent. 
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Rave: Duke Ellington.
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Reading: “When We Get to Surf City” by Bob Greene.
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On the Hi Fi: Brian Setzer Orchestra: “The Dirty Boogie.”
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Under Rated: Clint Walker.
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Over Rated: LeBron James.
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Truism: Pregame sports shows are the only TV programs where the “laugh” signs face the hosts.
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Don’t Know About You: But, to me, it does not seem like the MLB postseason without the Red Sox.
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Rant: Why do MLB managers continue their habit of managing too much...especially their belief that all their relief pitchers will be in top form every night?
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Another Baseball Rant: In the ALCS, Yankees and Astros designated hitters produced two hits and 21 strikeouts in 39 at bats...pathetic!
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Please Shut Up: As usual during the postseason, TV viewers are afflicted by John Smoltz’s endless “expand the strike zone” on every pitch. What an amateur. 
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Please Shut Up II: Why do TV executive producers think that we turn on our TV to watch radio?
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Upon Further Review: The total overuse of “instant” replay reviews are anything but instant.
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Car Alarm: An antitheft device that only goes off when no one is trying to steal you car.
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Now Hear This: If you have a weakness, professional sports will find it.
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Hmmm:Why is the list of what my homeowner’s insurance does not cover look twice as long as what it does cover?
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Nailed It:  Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Alabama’s plan to monitor students’ phones to see if they stay for all four quarters of football games: “Wonder if they spend half as much effort to track players going to class.”
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Doesn’t Add Up: Florida . . . The Sunshine State . . . has more indoor tanning salons than McDonald's locations.
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For the Record: My PIN is the last four digits of π.
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You Know You're Old:  If you remember falsies.
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The Beat Goes On: The beat of the "Mission: Impossible" theme song intentionally spells the letters "M.I." in Morse Code . . . dash dash dot dot. 
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Rome wasn’t Built In A Day: The year 1666 contains every single Roman numeral once, in order from largest to smallest:  MDCLXVI.
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Get Off My Lawn: There should be a special place in Hell for the degenerates who are too lazy to walk fifteen feet to return a shopping cart to the pickup/drop off lane in parking lot...let alone (God forbid) walk it back into the store.
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To the Batmobile, Robin: "The Dark Knight" was the first Batman movie that didn't have the word "Batman" in the title.
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If You Are Scoring At Home: A single tattoo is one too many.
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Random Thought: Frank Lloyd Wright’s son John invented Lincoln Logs. 
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Speaking of Deadly Bores: That sharp intellect, John Smoltz spoke ad nauseam about the importance of “putting up crooked numbers.” Well....when the Braves scored ten runs in the first inning (10/9) vs. the Cardinals, followed by one in the second...they had an 11-0 lead without a crooked number in sight.
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Listen Up: Every "c" in "Pacific Ocean" is pronounced differently.
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Award Winning: Les Paul is the only person in both the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the National Inventors Hall of Fame, thanks to the electric guitar. 
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Idiot’s Delight: The first "For Dummies" book was "DOS for Dummies" in 1991. To date, the series has around 2,500 titles and more than 200 million copies in print. 
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Laugh A Minute: The Grammy for Best New Artist in 1961 went to Bob Newhart’s "The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart."  It also won Album of the Year.  No other comedian has won either of those awards.  
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You Know You're Old:  If you remember Ipana Toothpaste.
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Extra Credit: If you remembered Ipana’s spokesman was Bucky Beaver. “Brusha, brusha, brusha.”
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Sweet Tooth: The first seven flavors of Life Savers were peppermint, wintergreen, clove, licorice, cinnamon, violet, and chocolate.  But only peppermint and wintergreen are still around.  
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Geography 101: Africa is the only continent that's in all four hemispheres.
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Floors please: The Empire State Building makes more money from selling tickets to its observation deck than it does from renting out its office space.
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Buy A Clue: When Sudoku became popular in 2006, pencil sales went up 700%.  
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Carry On: The Red Sox had a losing record at Fenway this season past. Where is Ted Williams when you need him?
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Numbers Game: The smallest number that can be divided by every number 1 through 10 without leaving a remainder is 2,520. 
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Bonus Track: The Museum of Bread in Germany has 16,000 artifacts related to the history of bread . . . but no actual bread.
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Final Thought: The average potato makes 36 chips.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran. 
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
Th-th-th-th-that’s all, folks!
As you were.

Friday, September 20, 2019

Curmudgeon in the Wry Incident 608

Friday, September 20, 2019---953 Words---Average Reading Time: 3 Minutes, 6 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Submitted for your approval.
No French Fry Left Behind.
Free shipping and handling.
Back by the demand of virtually no one.
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001. 
You Are Here
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Viewer Indiscretion Is Advised.
Love your hair...hope you win!     
Tom Baldrica: Minnesota Correspondent. 
Carl Moesche: West Coast Correspondent. 
+++++++ 
Rave: Doris Day.
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Reading: “The Chelsea Girls” by Fiona Davis.
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On the Hi Fi: Shorty Rogers--“Swings”
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Under Rated: Darren McGavin.
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Over Rated: MLB’s inane Nickname weekend with stupid uniforms. To make things worse, none of the nicknames contained anywhere near the cachet of Mister October, Yogi, Joltin’ Joe, Stan the Man, Cakes, Splendid Splinter, Sultan of Swat, Jungle Jim, The Say Hey Kid, Hammerin’ Hank, Big Train, Vinegar Bend, Shoeless Joe, just to cite a few.
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Nailed It: NY Post’s Phil Mushnick described the uniforms thusly: “It appeared Johnny Cash and the San Quentin 9 versus the psychiatric facility detail from the movie ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’. So 44 games over the weekend were played in secret code.”
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Truism: MLB seems to have an endless supply of rotten ideas.
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Speaking of Great Baseball Names: Walt Dropo (Tigers, 1942) and Pinky Higgins (Red Sox, 1938) still share the record for most consecutive hits with an even dozen.
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Rant: This was a better country before anyone ever heard of opiates.
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General Admission: Pro sports would be better off if players were paid at the end of the season based on performance.
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Pop Quiz: I faced Pedro Martinez, John Smoltz, Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux a combined 323 time, and struck out just three times. Who am I?
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Grammar Police: The is no such thing as the “first annual.” The first one is the inaugural...the second one is the second annual.
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Poetry in Motion: There are few things more beautiful in baseball than a double play.
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The Flip Side: A pitching change is quite the opposite.
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Quote: “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”-Ellen Parr.
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Name Game: It seems to me that Oakland Athletics pitcher A.J. Puk should be a hockey player.
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You Make the Call: Is it just me, or do the summer movies continue to get worse and worse?
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Fashion Statement: The white-on-white uniforms worn by the MLB players over the “Nickname Weekend” made the players look like Norman Rockwell depictions of milkmen.
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Irony: We celebrate Labor Day by not engaging in much labor.
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They’re Out: Americans left a record 768 million vacation days go unused last year. “Don’t blame us...we took all of ours,” said the Detroit Tigers. 
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TV Time Out: “Tom Corbett, Space Cadet” is the only show that played on four different networks...DuMont, CBS, NBC and ABC.
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Down in Front: A kid in the stands at Marlins Park caught two foul balls during the same at bat. Who says the Marlins do not have a Gold Glove candidate. 
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Department of Redundancy Department: Seen on a poster at the YMCA—“The Little League game is scheduled to start on Saturday morning at 10 a.m.”
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Reality Check: September baseball is overkill when your team is not in it.
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Quiz Quickie, Rhetorical Division: The Minnesota Twins are on a pace to break the single season home run record. Name a Twins hitter.
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Full Disclosure: Like hurricanes, I live every day in a cone of uncertainty.
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But Who Is Counting: The Dallas Cowboys have won three playoff games in the last 22 years. 
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Quote: After learning that the most preseason Super Bowl bets in Las Vegas books being placed on the Browns and Bears, LeftCoastSportsBabe.com’s Janice Hough said, “There’s a reason they’ve been able to afford to build all those amazing resorts.”
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Rimshot: Q)Why did pro golfer, John Daly leave the driving range to go to the pizza place?A) He wanted to work on his slices.
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How About That Sports Fans: John Elway lost more games than he won at Stanford...turned out to a pretty good NFL QB. 
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Music Maestro: Was there a great summer song out there, and I just missed it? 
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Double Bubble: The NY Yankees have hit more home runs than doubles...the Padres have 212 HRs and 212 doubles...never has a MLB team ended a season with more home runs than doubles.
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Quiz Answer: Tony Gwynn.
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Smarty Pants: When Northwestern recently played at Stanford it was almost assuredly was the highest total SAT scores in the lineups.
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The Options Were Optional: College football—Hawaii 45 Arizona 38...rumor has it that tackling was optional.
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When Men Were Men: Warren Spahn pitched 85 of his 382 complete games after he turned 40.
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Two Quotes: “The most dangerous place to be is significantly ahead of the curve.”—Peggy Noonan. 
“I was stunned to hear about the suicide of Jeffrey Epstein. And so was Jeffrey Epstein.”—Peggy Noonan.
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Keeping Score: Division III Linfield College has had a winning football season every year since 1956...longest winning streak in team sports in the USA.
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Bonus Track: SF Giants manager, Bruce Bochy, has managed in the majors from 1995 to 2019. On the morning of September 10, his lifetime managing record was 1995-2019.
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Final Thought: TheEin ESPN stands for excess.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran. 
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.
As you were.


Saturday, August 24, 2019

Curmudgeon in the Wry -- Incident # 607

Saturday, August 24, 2019--- 748 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 20 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Submitted for your approval.
No French Fry Left Behind.
Free shipping and handling.
Back by the demand of virtually no one.
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Viewer Indiscretion Is Advised.
Love your hair...hope you win!     
Tom Baldrica: Minnesota Correspondent. 
Carl Moesche: West Coast Correspondent. 
+++++++ 
Rave: Chuck Berry.
+++++++            
Reading: “TH1RT3EN”by Steve Cavanagh.
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On the Hi Fi: “The Great American Song Book, Volume One”—Rod Stewart.
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Under Rated: Robert Fuller.
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Pop Quiz: Who said it to a sore loser in a poker game and in what movie: “Mind a suggestion friend? Trouble with you is you don't enjoy the game for its own rewards: stimulation, relaxation, pleasant association, and interesting conversation?” 
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Quote: “It’s okay to be scared to death at the start of every project.”—David Baldacci.
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You Don’t Have to be Columbo: To know that no one will ever match the record of Lance Armstrong’s seven consecutive stripped titles.
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For What It’s Worth: Hell is other people’s music.
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Civility 101: ”Other people have the right not to hear your sound.”—Peggy Noonan.
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Just Between Us: I wish everyone had two lives to live: one for practice and another to do it right.
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A Musical Interlude: “I wish that I knew what I know now  When I was younger.”
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No Kidding: I am still searching for this year’s summer song.
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Post Game Wrap Up: The Dallas Cowboys had a winning record every season from 1966 to 1985.
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Quote: In re the Astros four-pitcher no hitter, Ed Finklestein said, “Astros No-Hit Mariners as Manager Fails to Find Pitcher to Allow a Hit.”
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It Is Incredulous: That ESPN could possibly believe that their baseball productions are better than awful. 
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Speaking of Sports: Mariners infielder Tim Beckham drew an 80-game suspension for performance-enhancing drugs. Considering that he has been hitting .211 since April 7th, here’s hoping he saved the receipt.  
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Out on a Limb: Camping, an activity where you spend a fortune to live like a homeless person.
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Speaking of Sleazeball Morons:  ESPN’s nonstop, say-anything Alex Rodriguez, in the top of the third, Rafael Devers batted with men on first and second. Rodriguez: “Devers is very aggressive … but make a quality pitch, double play, you’re out of there.” Devers then hit a DP ball to first. “Like that,” said Rodriguez in self-fulfillment. But the Yanks only went for one out — likely because there already were two out!
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Hmmm: How did the man who invented the first clock know what time it was?
Which letter in scent is silent...the “s” or the “c?”
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Quote: “A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something." – Anon.
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Some Jokes Write Themselves: Case in point, the report on 28-year-old former college basketball player D.J. Cooper, who was suspended by FIBA from playing in Europe the next two seasons after he used another person’s urine, thought to be his girlfriend’s, for a doping test. The sample indicated he was pregnant.
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Quiz Answer: Stuart Whitman as Paul Regret in “The Comancheros.”
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It’s a Fact, Jack: "You never find a lost article until you replace it."
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Overkill: Enough research will tend to support your theory.
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Truism: Auto Focus - won't.
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Quote: “Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.” -- Laurence J. Peter
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Final Thought: Every play-by-play caller and analyst should be forced to watch at least the last hour of ESPN’s coverage of the men’s final at Wimbledon, 2019. In doing so, they would learn that silence is golden, that there is no need for constant nattering when the TV audience can see all that is occurring . . . Watching Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic scrap in the finale was pure gold, especially with the telecast crew not feeling an urge to talk all the time.
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Bonus Track: It is just as difficult to lose a game of rock/paper/scissors as attempting to win.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran. 
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.
As you were.


Saturday, August 03, 2019

Curmudgeon in the Wry, Incident # 606

Saturday, August 03, 2019--- 691 Words---Average Reading Time: 2 Minutes, 20 Seconds. (A pointless waste of time---time frittered away)
Submitted for your approval.
No French Fry Left Behind.
Free shipping and handling.
Back by the demand of virtually no one.
Seeking only to enlighten and amuse.
Offending readers and hindering productivity one issue at a time since 2001. 
Warning: Contains unsound bites from the apple of life.
Often wrong…never in doubt.
If you want this in a different language…move to a country that speaks it!
Viewer Indiscretion Is Advised.
Love your hair...hope you win!     
Tom Baldrica: Minnesota Correspondent. 
Carl Moesche: West Coast Correspondent. 
+++++++ 
Rave: Harry James.
+++++++            
Reading: “Elvis in Vegas” by Richard Zoglin. 
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On the Hi Fi: “Too Cool” by Chet Baker.
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Under Rated: Ruth Brown.
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Pop Quiz: What is MLB’s third oldest ballpark behind Fenway Park and Wrigley Field?
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Smooth Move: Hospitality is the art of making your guests feel at home, even though you wish they were.
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But wait, There’s More: The U.S. military manufactured way too many Purple Heart medals when they were planning the invasion of Japan . . . the Purple Hearts awarded today are still from that supply.
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You Know You're Old: If you remember when Middle School was Junior High
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Abhorrent: Alex Rodriguez, Ryan Leaf and Lance Armstrong, pariahs not that long ago---are suddenly high-profile TV commentators. Pundits said they’d never seen anyone land on their feet like that since Mary Lou Retton.”—Dwight Perry, Seattle Times.
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Truism: The person who cannot dance says the band cannot keep time.
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Name game: The guy who's stuck in jail on the Monopoly board has a name:  Jake the Jailbird.  The cop who throws him in jail on the Chance and Community Chest "Go Directly to Jail" card is Officer Edgar Mallory. 
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Speaking of Sports: There is nothing in professional sports more boring than contract stories.
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Abracadabra: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
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Barry Fitzgerald is the only actor who has ever been nominated at the Oscars for Best Actor AND Best Supporting Actor for the same role. The Academy somehow nominated him for both for the movie "Going My Way" in 1944.  He won Best Supporting Actor.
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Rhodes Scholar: Baseball is one way I learned geography.
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Happy Birthday Baby: This is the 65thyear of the Newport Jazz Festival.
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Quote: “At some point optimism becomes narcissism.”--Peggy Noonan.
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Random Thought: Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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Not on My Summer Reading List: Bud Selig’s memoirs.
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Home and Away: Humans are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to return home.
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You Know You're Old: If you spent $149‰ for a pocket calculator. (Add, subtract, multiply, divide, with *memory*!)
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Hot Stuff: Wasabi was originally eaten with sushi to kill bacteria, not for its flavor. 
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Ever Notice: As automakers make cars safer, they come up with model names that make them sound more dangerous.
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Not So Guilty Pleasure: Anita O’Day and Gene Krupa.
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Irrelevant Revelation: "Forty" is the only number where the letters spelling it out are in alphabetical order.  "One" is the only number where the letters spelling it out are in reverse alphabetical order. 
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You Know You're Old: If you can recall when baseball was played to be won rather than accumulate style points. That’s back when first base coaches never congratulated a home run hitter. He couldn’t — the batter was already on his way to second.
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Quiz Answer: Dodger Stadium...opened in 1962.
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About Time: The first chocolate bar was made in 1874.  Up to that point, chocolate was just a drink
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Ever Wonder: How much money can there be in Tobasco Sauce when you only use it one drop at a time?
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Didjaknow: There are more corporations in Delaware than people.
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Final Thought: I think all government employees should get the minimum wage and have to work for tips.
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Bonus Track: Netflix has been around longer than Google.  Netflix was founded in 1997, Google in 1998.
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If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can’t, thank the teacher’s union.
If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran. 
And, for everything else you have, thank God.
That is all.

As you were.